I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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