I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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