Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize