About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize