Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
