Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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