Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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