What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
