he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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