wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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