Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Can Purell be used as lube?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Drunk is a universal language darling
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
