He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize