You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
He did a backflip because drugs
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