I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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