C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
