Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
