We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
