he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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