I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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