either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
