Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
