wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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