Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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