i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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