i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
