the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize