i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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