in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
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