I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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