hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize