Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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