i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
