i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
