yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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