6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
smell my finger.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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