How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
dude. I can hear the air.
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