im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
