I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I am midnight drunk by noon
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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