Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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