Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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