the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
We named our party play list daddy issues
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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