But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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