Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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