I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
