We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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