do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
