im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
