Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
