I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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