A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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