I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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