My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
