Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize