So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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