so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
