Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
zippers are such a cool invention
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
