I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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