he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize