well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
