will power is for people who don't want to get laid
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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