Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
